I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Say something about gay babies.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
