peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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