Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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