So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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