Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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