mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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