I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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