Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize