im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
