I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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