So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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