Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
