The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
