How'd it feel making her break her religion?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
