All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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