Just cropdusted the office
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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