So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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