Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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