I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Found the puke drawer
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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