I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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