Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
