she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
