Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
