3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
