it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
