so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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