So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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