So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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