your room smells of hookers.
And success
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
