i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize