I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
