Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
