you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
