you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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