She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize