just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
