I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
