Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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