MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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