So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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