The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
