Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
