he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
