well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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