Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
