You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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