Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
