we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Help. Why am I so naked?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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