WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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