I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
