with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The Olympian is in my bed
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
