you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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