The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
