break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
