bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she peed on how many people?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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