I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
