ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
