i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Those nachos came to me in a dream
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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